when the light goes out
kenesiera couldnt help but stare out of the window, out into the wide, greenish field lying in front of her home. nothing could beat the calamity that surrounded her. the house was quiet. she was all alone. nobody was at home to care what she did--or did not do. nobody was at home to keep her company, especially when she needed it the most.

her mind was always preoccupied. her thoughts always strayed to the people around her, her mind always thinking back into the memories that had passed but never once left her heart. she wondered what it would be like to lead a new life without them. letting go was something hard that she had always tried to learn. but to grasp the reality that they were all going into separate ways didnt really sink in to her when the final term exams ended. to her, they were still together, and they always will be.

kenesiera did not know how long she sat there, staring out of the window. it was until darkness fell, the lights on basketball court on the front end of the field glared into the dark night did she realise she had been there for hours. yet, no one came home. she was all alone. loneliness was something she disliked. yet, she had to adapt to the life at home after the examinations. suddenly, books didnt seem like such a mean friend after all. it kept her from thinking of all the sad things, something which made her depress all the time. books didnt do that. exams did, but not as much.

papers were her bestest friend, pens were her dearest mates. they never failed to listen to her to what she had to say. that explained the stack of papers and the bundle of pens next to her. kenesiera always wrote what she had to say. but she always threw them away at the end of the day. no one would know anyway. she wished someone would, but who would care. a few days later, all would end. and she wouldnt care either. just when she realised someone was finally home, she would dump everything away.

the door clicked open and kenesiera jumped slightly. her mum poked her head into the room and greeted her cheerfully. she had a nice day at work, no doubt, or shouting would feel the house for she did not clean the room as instructed to. all kenesiera could do now was to clear the papers strewn all over the floor. it was not a strange sight. she had been shuffling with papers since she was four. wiping the tears away from her cheeks, she turned and gave her mum and gave her mum the most perfect smile she could manage at the moment and began gathering up her papers.