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14 July 2006

what?!
i cant believe u did it. i really dont.

so what if we just started being good friends just 2 years laterr?
so what if we dont even talk much in class but crap like mad on msn?
so what if we share diff views from some things?

that was what made us click so much on msn, so much to talk about... so much so that i trusted you. so much so that i was willing to tell you what i thought. so much so that i am on the verge of tears now that i got wind of what u have done.

could u not have told us what you planned to do? we were after all in this together. the four of us.

i cant express my disappointment. i dont know what i should do next. i dont know who to trust in this world and u are one of the few. tell me. tell me what i can do.

i am sorry whatever happened ok. i dont mean it. neither of us did. it was a crap conversation. i was stupid to post that paragraph. nothing like this would have happened then. i am sorry, fruit loops. i truly am.

i am sorry whatever i said. i dont seek for forgiveness already. i am sick with myself. sick of life. sick trusting and then being lied to or didnt gain trust back. i am sick of everything ever since i stepped into 308. i am sick of trying hard to change, not being myself, just to make friends with whom i cant click with. i am sick of being a chairman, who needs to satisfy whatever your wants and needs are when i clearly have rules to follow. i am sick of everything in the world. I AM SICK OF MYSELF. i deserve no friends. i deserve nothing. i am a sickening and useless person who doesnt know the right from wrong, who doesnt know true or false.

i am tired. tired of giving in. tired of chaging just to make friends cos i cant mix in with who i really am. i forgot myself already in 2 years time. who am i? what kind of person am i? i no longer knew. i know i am not yubing. shoot me. come on. bring yubing back. liberate her. my soul is tired of these already. i give up guys. forget it. leave me alone. maybe it's destinied that friends i used to have will not stay forever.

i should i have never believed in trust...
never to have believed in forever friends

~ { 11:26 PM }
Leaving the CITY;