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29 July 2005
i will miss u
this is probably the saddest dae in nan hua ba.. yesterday i cried on the way to the NEWater there cos of him gonna leave.. today i cried cos of the same reason.. but today i cried not just cos he leaving.. i cried cos i remembered all the times spent together with him.. all the words he once said to me.. and thinking of 'remember the titans' just brought back sweet memories.. even the softball camp.. and i rmb tht we were once looking forward to another softball camp this year.. but most likely.. it will nv come..

after school i was dragging the time.. i dont want the farewell party to come.. if it never comes.. he will never have to leave. i will never have to cry again.. but it came.. and i pitched with annabel so tht i can take my mind off things.. it did.. but not for long.. we decided to write him a letter together.. and it was then, in the library, tht i cried for the first time in the day. i was just simply narrating to bel abt wht to write in the letter... den she told me abt tht time when he took us to the fitness corner.. we did the trust fall thing.. then i cried. the new teacher will nv be able to do this.. she will nv noe such things to build up our trust and team spirit. he does all sorts of little things just for us.. things will never be the same without him around.

we ate pizza after tht and then he talked to us.. i cried again.. a little.. he read all of our letters to him.. and his eyes went all teary. i was sad too.. so after a while i went to the washroom with bel.. in there.. we hugged and cried.. cried hard for like 15 mins.. and it's like once i start, i cant stop.. i just cried and cried.. and when i looked at the time, it was almost 6.. time for him to leave.. time just flies when u hope it wouldnt.. so bel and i literally ran to look for him.. he was in the staff room.. just looking at his table.. everything was packed up and his table almost empty.. i couldnt help it but cry again.. bel took me out of the staff room and she cried too.. a little ba.. den we helped take his stuff to his car.. den we went home le..

i just cant help thinking wht life would be without him with the hurricanes.. i would be lost.. i dont want to go into the staff room, onli to find his table occupied by another teacher, and just looking around.. he is not there.. i hate to find myself walk unknowingly to his table onli to find tht he had left and it was another teacher there.. maybe i will nv ever step into the staff room again.. i just cant help thinking how would PE lessons be like with the new PE teacher. i wonder who is it. but no one can ever replace him.. who will let someone revise for test even during his lesson? who will be so understanding tht he lets us do whtever we want during the free play? even just to slack off and do nothing though i usually play or wht.. who will catch for me during PE lessons when i decided to pitch? who will let me open the PE store to let me get my softball stuff? no one can.. no one will..

daddy.. i may or may not have said everything i want in the letter. there's just so many things to sae to u.. it's onli today when i realised there are thousand and one things tht i want to tell u but i dont noe where to start, how to start.. perhaps u have read my blogg.. and the things i am saying is just abt the same.. but it's all from the bottom of my heart. i want to sae tht i nv really had a chance to sit down and talk to u like bel and jiawen did.. i didnt understand u enough.. and there was even a time when i thought u hated me.. but now i hate myself for thinking tht way.. u care so much for all of us.. yet i still thought tht way and misunderstood u.. i am sorry.. and i am grateful for what u have done for me, what u have done for us.. ur letter made me cry.. i treasure it.. i really do.

now tht u have left nan hua officially.. i really hope tht if u ever come to my blog.. or even any of our blogs.. i am sure tht we will be happy if u just leave a tag on the tagboard for us.. i will be happy.. cos it shows tht u still rmb us.. it's not a must.. but it's just a wish tht i hope u can fulfil it for me.. please??

**miss u always**
**it's not nan hua without u, mr chng**

~ { 8:41 PM }
Leaving the CITY;